📰 Florida’s Department of Government Efficiency Efficiently Forgets Deadline
Because nothing says “accountability” like missing your own homework.
In a stunning display of bureaucratic performance art, Florida’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) — yes, that DOGE — has missed its legally required deadline to deliver a report to state lawmakers detailing government waste, fraud, and inefficiency.
The deadline was January 13, 2026. Today’s date is… not that. ⏰✨
DOGE, a task force personally championed by Gov. Ron DeSantis to hunt down wasteful spending across local governments, was supposed to provide lawmakers with a tidy list of:
Who was audited 🕵️
What waste was found 💸
How badly local governments messed up 📉
And how to fix it all, obviously
Instead, legislators received nothing — which, to be fair, is very efficient. Zero paper. Zero ink. Zero effort. ♻️👏
The irony has not gone unnoticed. Critics point out that a task force built to shame others for inefficiency somehow failed the most basic administrative task: turning in a report on time.
One lawmaker reportedly summarized the situation as “poetic.” Another used the word “embarrassing.” DOGE prefers the term “forthcoming.” 🐕
DOGE was created to aggressively audit cities, counties, school boards, and basically anyone with a stapler and a budget. Its findings were expected to bolster the governor’s argument that local governments are bloated, irresponsible, and desperately in need of Tallahassee’s loving supervision. ❤️🔥
Unfortunately, without the report, the public is left to assume the findings are either:
So shocking they broke the printer, or
Still being efficiently imagined
As of now, neither the House nor the Senate has confirmed receiving the report, and the governor’s office has responded with the time-honored tradition of strategic silence. 🦗🦗🦗
DOGE promised to expose inefficiency wherever it lurked. This week, it bravely looked inward — and found… itself.
Coming soon (presumably):
📄 The Report Explaining Why There Is No Report
Until then, Florida remains confident that government waste is rampant — just not measurable yet.