💄✨ Naples Pride Fest Approved (With Conditions, Darling) ✨💄
NAPLES, Fla. — Grab your pearls and clutch them tightly, Naples. The City Council has graciously approved Naples Pride’s request to host its annual Pride Fest at Cambier Park—because nothing says “progress” like a permit wrapped in a tasteful little bow of restrictions. 🎀
Yes, darlings, the festival is officially a go, but once again, drag performances have been ordered to remain indoors, presumably to protect the delicate sensibilities of park benches, squirrels, and any nearby shrubbery that might faint at the sight of sequins in sunlight. 🌳😱
City leaders, in a stunning display of performative tolerance, confirmed that Pride may indeed proceed—so long as the drag queens behave like vampires and avoid direct exposure to daylight. 🧛♀️✨ The message is clear: Love is love, rainbows are fine, but a high kick under open skies? Absolutely not.
This decision, of course, arrives while the city is still embroiled in a lawsuit with Naples Pride over—wait for it—the very same indoor-only drag rule imposed during last year’s festival. Yes, darling, nothing screams “we’re confident in our position” quite like doubling down while actively being sued over it. ⚖️💅
Council members insist the restrictions are about “public safety” and “family-friendly spaces,” which is fascinating considering drag queens have been raising families, spirits, and charitable donations for decades without a single recorded incident of harm caused by a feather boa. 🪶👠
Naples Pride, ever the class act, accepted the permit while continuing its legal challenge, proving once again that queer folks can multitask: celebrate, comply, and sue—all in the same pair of heels. 👠📜
So mark your calendars, my fabulous friends. Pride Fest is coming to Cambier Park, glitter will be applied, love will be celebrated, and drag will be performed safely behind walls—like a Vegas show with HOA approval. 🏳️🌈✨
Because in Naples, equality isn’t denied outright, darling—it’s just politely escorted indoors.
Now tip your queens, read your court filings, and remember: the only thing truly inappropriate in public is hypocrisy. 💋