Tallahassee, FL — Florida politics has officially gone full reality TV. As Congressman Byron Donalds polishes his campaign boots to run for Governor, his wife Erika Donalds is out here turning Florida’s schools into a private investment portfolio. 👩💼📈
While Byron preaches “freedom in education,” Erika seems to have taken that quite literally — as in, freedom to cash in on it. Through her network of “classical academies” (which, let’s be honest, sound like Hogwarts but with standardized testing), she’s been busy expanding Florida’s privatized education empire. 🏛️✨
Meanwhile, public school teachers across the state are clapping politely through gritted teeth, like extras in a bad soap opera called “As the Funding Drains.” 🎭🍷
Byron: “I’ll fix Florida!”
Erika: “With charter schools… and a matching business plan!”
She’s not just an advocate — she’s a mogul. Her organizations have reportedly snagged millions in charter contracts, which, coincidentally, sounds exactly like what happens when “school choice” meets “invoice choice.” 💰📚
It’s basically the American Dream: turn your passion for education into a side hustle subsidized by taxpayers. 🇺🇸👏
Critics say the Donalds family vision could siphon money from public schools. But hey, why have one solid system when you can have 1,000 mini-experiments with glossy logos and inspirational Latin mottos like “Profitum Ergo Educatio.”🏛️📜
Soon, students will graduate fluent in economics — mostly because they’ll need to take out loans just to attend kindergarten. 🧮💵
Rumor has it the campaign slogan will be:
“Byron for Governor — Because You Deserve a School You Can’t Afford!” 🏆📢
And if Erika’s plans keep rolling, expect the next generation of Florida kids to major in Taxpayer-Funded Entrepreneurship, minor in Charter School Management, and graduate with Debt Cum Laude. 🎓😂
Whether you call it “school choice,” “privatization,” or “the Donalds family business expansion plan,” one thing’s clear: Florida’s classrooms are about to get a whole lot fancier — and pricier.
So grab your gold-plated No. 2 pencil, Florida — class is in session, and the tuition just went up. ✏️💎