📰 FLORIDA MAN STRIKES (A CONSTITUTIONAL NERVE) AGAIN

Governor Declares Civil Rights Group “Foreign Terrorists,” Lawsuit Politely Asks Him to Please Stop Cosplaying the Federal Government 🇺🇸⚖️✨

TALLAHASSEE, FL — In a bold interpretive dance with the U.S. Constitution, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has once again tested the limits of executive power, common sense, and Google’s definition of “foreign.” This week, the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) responded the old-fashioned way: by filing a federal lawsuit and letting a judge sort out the vibes. 🧑‍⚖️📜

The suit challenges DeSantis’ order designating CAIR — a U.S.-based Muslim civil rights organization with more than 20 chapters nationwide — as a “foreign terrorist organization.” Yes. Foreign. In America. By a governor. 🧭🤔

🎭 A Brief Civics Refresher (Free of Charge)

CAIR’s lawsuit, filed late Monday by CAIR-Foundation and CAIR-Florida, asks a federal judge in Tallahassee to do something radical:
➡️ Declare the order unconstitutional
➡️ Stop it from being enforced
➡️ Remind everyone which branch of government does what

According to the filing, DeSantis has “usurped the exclusive authority of the federal government” by unilaterally declaring a domestic civil rights group to be terrorists — a power typically reserved for, you know, Congress and federal agencies, not Tallahassee cosplay departments. 🎩🇺🇸

🏛️ About the ‘Terrorists’ in Question

CAIR’s activities include:

• Legal advocacy ⚖️

• Civil rights education 📚

• Community outreach 🤝

Shockingly, this has not yet included foreign invasions, paramilitary drills, or secret volcano lairs. 🌋❌

🔥 Political Theater, Now With Extra Targeting

The lawsuit also notes that DeSantis’ move fits neatly into a recent pattern of statements and actions by Republican officials aimed at U.S. Muslims and Muslim organizations, because nothing says “small government” quite like labeling your political critics as terrorists. 🦅📢

🧠 What Happens Next

A federal judge will now decide whether:

• The governor overstepped 🚧

• The Constitution still means what it says 📜

• Or if Florida has officially opened a new franchise of “States’ Rights: Extreme Edition” 🎮

Until then, CAIR says it will continue its work — presumably without changing its stationery to read “Definitely Not Foreign Terrorists, Inc.”

Stay tuned. This season of Florida Politics remains aggressively binge-worthy. 🍿🌴