🐊 NAPLES, FL: WHEN YOUR POOL BOY HAS TEETH AND ZERO REGARD FOR HOA RULES 🏊‍♂️✨

In yet another reminder that Naples is just a luxury resort awkwardly plopped in the middle of a swamp, a large, extremely uninvited alligator was safely removed from a residential swimming pool after deciding to enjoy a late-night dip like it pays property taxes.

The incident unfolded shortly after 1 a.m. — the traditional hour for poor decisions, mysterious noises, and discovering prehistoric reptiles where your pool floaties used to be 🌙🐊.

🐕 ENTER: THE DOG. EXIT: EVERYONE’S PEACE OF MIND

The evening took a dramatic turn when a Naples couple let their dog outside and noticed “unusual movement” in the pool — which, in Naples, could mean anything from wind, to raccoons, to a retired New Yorker doing laps.

After flipping on the lights 💡, the homeowners were delighted to discover a full-sized alligator casually swimming laps, as if training for the Everglades Triathlon or simply enjoying the premium chlorine levels.

📞 CALLING MANAGEMENT (A.K.A. THE STATE OF FLORIDA)

The homeowners did what any sensible Naples resident would do:
✔️ Went back inside
✔️ Locked everything
✔️ Questioned their life choices
✔️ Called authorities immediately

Wildlife officials and a licensed alligator trapper arrived on scene — because of course Naples has those on speed dial 📱🐊.

📏 YES, IT WAS HUGE (THANK YOU FOR ASKING)

Officials later confirmed the gator measured approximately 7 feet 11 inches long, which is just one inch shy of “absolutely not” and well within “burn the house down and start over” territory.

🏡 NO INJURIES, JUST EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

No one was injured during the encounter. The homeowners remained safely indoors, watching from a distance as their pool temporarily transformed into a Discovery Channel live special.

🌿 RELOCATED, NOT EVICTED

Wildlife authorities confirmed the alligator was humanely removed and relocated according to state procedures — likely to another body of water where it can continue doing whatever it wants, because it’s an alligator and Florida is just a suggestion.

Officials reminded residents that prompt reporting is essential to ensure public safety and humane handling — and also to prevent your pool from becoming a reptilian Airbnb.

🥂 NAPLES LIVING:

Where the pools are heated, the wine is chilled, the neighbors are polite…
…and sometimes your midnight swim guest is a 7-foot apex predator with no concept of private property.

Welcome to paradise. 🌴🐊