💉✨ The Miraculous Power of Vaccines (and Other Things We Apparently Forgot)

12 Measles Cases Confirmed at Ave Maria University

Ah yes, measles — that charming vintage illness from the “olden days,” back when people also died from infected paper cuts and thought leeches were medicine.

In an inspiring act of historical reenactment, Ave Maria University has reportedly confirmed 12 cases of measles, proving once again that nothing says modern higher education quite like bringing back diseases we already solved decades ago.

👏 Truly, academia never stops innovating.

🏛️ Welcome to Campus Life: Now Featuring Medieval Plagues

College is supposed to be about expanding horizons:

• meeting new people 🤝

• learning new ideas 📚

• catching highly contagious preventable viruses 🦠✨

Apparently, Ave Maria students decided to spice up the semester with a little 19th-century fever rash aesthetic.

Because why settle for finals stress when you can also enjoy:

• high fever 🌡️

• cough 🤧

• full-body rash 🟥

• and the thrilling possibility of spreading it to infants and immunocompromised people 😬

So enriching.

💉 Vaccines: Science’s Most Inconvenient Success Story

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the true tragedy here:

Vaccines work so well that people forget what life was like before them.

Measles isn’t just a harmless childhood rite of passage like bad cafeteria food. It can cause:

• pneumonia 🫁

• brain swelling 🧠

• permanent complications

• death ☠️

But sure, let’s treat it like an optional elective.

🥂 Herd Immunity: The Group Project Everyone Failed

Herd immunity is like that one group assignment where everyone benefits…
unless a few people decide they’re “doing their own research” on TikTok University. 🎓📱

When vaccination rates drop, measles doesn’t politely stay in the history books.

It kicks down the door like:

“Hey besties, I heard y’all missed me.”

🙏 Thoughts, Prayers, and… Maybe a Booster?

Of course, in times like these, we turn to the traditional remedies:

• vague inspirational quotes ✨

• essential oils 🧴

• “natural immunity” (aka rolling the dice with your organs) 🎲

• and a deep mistrust of modern medicine, because microscopes are suspicious 🔬😤

Or… and hear me out…

vaccines.

Those boring little shots that prevented this entire situation in the first place.

🦠 Measles Doesn’t Care About Your Opinions

Measles is not impressed by:

• personal freedom arguments 🇺🇸

• Facebook comment sections 💬

• vibes-based healthcare 🌙

• or the belief that “it won’t happen here”

Spoiler:

It happened here.

🎓 Final Exam Question

What’s more powerful?

A) A highly contagious airborne virus
B) One of the most effective public health tools ever created
C) Ignoring decades of medical progress for the aesthetic of rebellion

Correct answer: B. Vaccines. Always vaccines. 💉🏆

📌 Closing Thoughts

The power of vaccines is undeniable…
mostly because the moment people stop using them, measles shows up like an uninvited alumni guest from 1952.

So congratulations to everyone involved in this unnecessary outbreak:
you’ve proven that science works, whether you believe in it or not.

✨ Get vaccinated. Stay healthy. Stop resurrecting diseases. ✨