The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) has decided that the most pressing wildlife issue in the Sunshine State isn’t pythons in the Everglades, red tide choking the Gulf, or manatees starving to death — no, it’s that we have far too many majestic black bears wandering around like they own the place.

In a totally scientific move Wednesday, the FWC voted unanimously to bring back a 23-day black bear hunting season this December, the first since the 2015 “Oops, We Accidentally Killed 300 Bears in Two Days” event. This year, officials assure us, things will be “different,” presumably because they’ve invested in better clipboards.

The meeting, held bright and early at 8:30 a.m., drew passionate supporters and opponents, separated by fashion choice: hunters in bright orange, conservationists in black. Think high school spirit day, but with more simmering resentment and the looming possibility of bear blood.

Rodney Smith, a hunter from the Panhandle, passionately defended the tradition: “It’s a tradition that kind of made Florida. And it was taken away because of a lack of management.” Historians, of course, will one day marvel that Florida was built not on citrus, tourism, or land speculation — but on the noble pastime of chasing large mammals through the woods.

FWC says the hunt will “manage the bear population” — because nothing says “management” like handing out rifles and hoping for the best. Opponents countered with wild ideas like habitat preservation and non-lethal deterrents, but those clearly don’t look as good on a Christmas card.

So, come December, hunters will once again stalk the forests for nearly a month, bringing “balance” back to nature one bullet at a time. After all, if history repeats itself, it’ll be over in 48 hours anyway.