🦩 Florida Trades Subtlety for Fabulous: Legislature Votes to Make Flamingo the State Bird 🏛️✨

In a stunning display of bipartisan unity — the kind usually reserved for naming highways after someone’s uncle — the Florida House of Representatives voted 112–1 to replace the humble northern mockingbird with the far more Instagrammable American flamingo as the official state bird.

Yes. One hundred and twelve lawmakers woke up and chose ✨pink✨.

Only one brave soul voted “no,” presumably clutching a black-and-white Audubon guide and whispering, “But… tradition.” 🐦📖

Goodbye, Beige Bird. Hello, Lawn Royalty. 🦩👑

The northern mockingbird has faithfully represented Florida since 1927. It sings beautifully. It’s adaptable. It’s native. It’s… subtle.

And frankly, subtle has never been Florida’s brand.

The flamingo, on the other hand, is a six-foot-tall coral spectacle that looks like it was designed during Art Basel after three espresso martinis. It stands on one leg like it’s perpetually posing for a yacht brochure. It is, in short, spiritually aligned with the state.

Lawmakers reportedly described the flamingo as “iconic,” “recognizable,” and “on every souvenir ever sold between Key West and Pensacola.” 🏖️🛍️

A Vote So Lopsided It Could Be a Golf Score ⛳

The 112–1 vote signals something rare in Tallahassee: unity.

Budget fights? Divisive.
Insurance reform? Contentious.
Bird rebranding? Overwhelming consensus.

In a chamber often split on nearly everything, representatives found common ground in one undeniable truth: if we’re going to have a state bird, it might as well look like it owns a timeshare.

The Flamingo: Florida Energy in Avian Form 🌴🔥

Let’s review:

• Pink? ✔️

• Dramatic? ✔️

• Frequently spotted near water? ✔️

• Slightly chaotic but photogenic? ✔️

The mockingbird sings many songs. Admirable.

The flamingo says nothing and still steals the spotlight. That’s leadership.

Critics (Yes, There Was One) 🐦

Some traditionalists have gently pointed out that mockingbirds are widely native across Florida, while flamingos have historically been more of a South Florida celebrity cameo.

But this is Florida. We do not let minor details like “range maps” interfere with aesthetic decisions.

Besides, if we can build luxury condos on reclaimed swamp, we can certainly reclaim a bird.

A New Era of Ornithological Glamour 💅🦩

Should the measure clear its final hurdles, Florida will officially retire its sensible gray songbird in favor of something that looks permanently ready for a poolside cocktail.

Tourism officials are already mentally photoshopping.

Schoolchildren are practicing drawing elongated necks.

And somewhere, on a quiet branch, a mockingbird is softly singing 1,000 different songs — none of them pink enough.

In conclusion, Florida has once again proven that when given the choice between understated competence and flamboyant spectacle, it will — overwhelmingly — choose spectacle.

As it should.

🦩🌴✨