Florida’s Bear Hunt Lottery: 163,000 Apply to Win the Right to Shoot Paddington

In true Florida fashion—where bad ideas not only come to life but also get state funding—the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is hosting a bear lottery. Yes, you heard that right: a raffle for the chance to kill a bear. Because apparently hunting season wasn’t feeling quite “Bingo Night” enough.

More than 163,000 people applied for just 172 permits to participate in December’s hunt. That means your odds of winning are about the same as finding a sober person at Daytona Bike Week. But hey, who doesn’t want the thrill of paying $27 for a “chance” to maybe shoot a creature that just wanted to eat berries in peace?

The state says there are about 4,000 black bears roaming Florida. Translation: each permit holder basically gets dibs on one bear per zip code. And if you don’t find one? Congrats, you just bought yourself the most expensive mosquito-bite safari of your life.

Of course, not everyone who applied actually plans to go hunting. Opponents like the Sierra Club encouraged people to apply for permits they’ll never use, turning this into a bizarre social experiment where animal activists are literally paying the state to not kill bears. It’s like outbidding your neighbor on eBay just to make sure they don’t get the Beanie Baby.

FWC insists this whole thing is about “science-based management.” Which, sure, sounds convincing—until you remember the last hunt in 2015 ended with hunters killing over 300 bears in two days, turning the event into something that looked less like wildlife management and more like the world’s saddest Black Friday sale.

But this is Florida, where logic goes to retire. So yes, we now have a bear hunt raffle, complete with the possibility that somewhere, a guy named Earl is pacing his living room in camo Crocs, waiting for his “lucky number” to be called.

The December hunt is shaping up to be the Sunshine State’s weirdest mash-up yet: part lottery, part blood sport, part PR nightmare. Or, as we Floridians like to call it—just another Tuesday.