Hold onto your Bermuda shorts, Marco Island — the City Council has taken a bold leap out of the sensible zone and into the humid, sun-drenched realm of “Just a Little Bit More” governance.

In a dramatic 4–3 vote that stirred mild outrage and possibly a few Aperol Spritzes, the council approved a plan to reintroduce a 3% franchise fee on electric bills — because, clearly, scorching humidity and hurricane insurance premiums weren’t already electrifying enough.

💡 Sixteen Years of Free-ish Power? Too Generous.

This dazzling fiscal pirouette undoes a 2009 policy that spared residents from paying extra for the privilege of using electricity. For sixteen glorious, AC-blasted years, Marco Islanders dodged the city’s soft financial throat-clear:
“Excuse us… just 3%, please.”

💸 A Fee So Small, You’ll Barely Notice… Until You Do

Estimates suggest the fee will cost households between $9 and $90 a year — or, as city economists framed it: “Basically one bottomless mimosa brunch, depending on your mimosa consumption and whether you valet.”

Critics, however, see the move as a gateway charge — the first step toward taxing things like sunlight, sea breezes, and the warm emotional tingle you get when a dolphin surfaces near your paddleboard.

“I just think it’s dangerous,” whispered one resident, aggressively fanning herself. “If they can charge for electricity, next thing you know it’s a ‘premium breeze fee’ every time a thunderstorm rolls in.”

⚖️ Fiscal Stability vs. Seasonal Suffering

Supporters on the council insist this is merely a “minor adjustment for long-term financial resilience.” In other words, the city needs funds for vital public services like landscaping, palm tree feng shui, and maintaining the sacred Council Ego Enhancement Fund.

Opponents — those valiant defenders of budget-conscious AC usage — argue the timing is especially cruel. As summer sets in, locals wage their annual battle against mold, mosquitoes, and spontaneous swamp-sweat. And now, they say, the city wants to charge for the only relief that doesn’t come in a cocktail glass.

Councilmember Wifferton McSnoot (name absolutely subject to verification) offered soothing words:
“It’s just three percent. Think of it as a small donation to the ongoing fabulousness of Marco Island. You’re welcome.”

🧾 Coming Soon to a Bill You Already Don’t Understand

If approved during its final reading on August 18, the fee will begin appearing on bills in Fiscal Year 2026 — sandwiched perfectly between the mysterious “fuel charge” and the equally mysterious “environmental recovery fee.”

Residents are encouraged to attend the next city council meeting — either to voice their discontent or simply witness small-town governance at its most passive-aggressive.

And if you’re feeling truly rebellious?
Turn off the AC, light a candle, and bask in your moral superiority.
Congratulations — you just saved three percent.