Because Paradise Shouldn’t Be Free

MARCO ISLAND — Known for its postcard-perfect beaches, boutique charm, and the faint scent of $18 cocktails, Marco Island may soon join the elite club of exclusive destinations—minus the gates, but with a cover charge.

Enter Councilwoman Tamara Goehler, unofficial title: Monetizer of Sunshine. Her latest proposal? Electronic tolls on both bridges to the island—the S.S. Jolley Bridge and the Stan Gober Memorial Bridge. Her pitch: a “revenue stream without raising taxes.” Translation: We’ve exhausted bake sales and parking citations.

Under the plan, every vehicle crossing into this sandy paradise will be gently extorted by sleek, silent technology. Rates haven’t been finalized, but locals are already imagining the inevitable toll tiers:

• $2 for residents

• $5 for tourists

• $20 for anyone wearing flip-flops from CVS who says, “We’re just here for the day.”

Supporters insist the revenue will fund “infrastructure”—a wonderfully vague term that could mean anything from road repair to upgrading the council’s catered lunches. Critics worry the toll could deter visitors. Some residents, however, quietly see that as a feature, not a bug—especially during high season when Publix transforms into a contact sport.

Business owners are divided. “Sure, fewer tourists might mean fewer t-shirt sales,” said one souvenir shop owner. “But if people are already paying to get here, maybe they’ll finally spring for that $75 seashell lamp. You know—sunk cost psychology.”

The plan will face its official debut at the August 18 City Council meeting, where Councilwoman Goehler is expected to deliver a TED Talk-worthy presentation on fiscal destiny. Expect applause, concern, and at least one symbolic attempt to pay the toll in sand dollars.

For now, locals are bracing for a new reality: one where a spontaneous sunset drive could cost as much as a theme park day pass.

Because in Marco Island’s next chapter, every view comes with a receipt.