Naples’ Latest Adventure Ride: The Human Ejection Seat Jeep Experience

Naples, FL – Thursday night traffic was briefly interrupted when Collier County unveiled its latest contribution to the entertainment industry: the Doorless Jeep Passenger Catapult. Unfortunately, one unlucky rider learned the hard way that doors—much like seatbelts, helmets, and common sense—are not just decorative suggestions.

At around 8:23 p.m., near the scenic intersection of Horseshoe Drive North and Airport-Pulling Road, a passenger was “politely invited” out of a moving Jeep. Witnesses report the airborne debut was less Cirque du Soleil and more “yard sale on asphalt.”

The Collier County Sheriff’s Office, ever eager to keep us guessing, promptly detained the driver—only to release him again, because apparently, Jeep ownership comes with a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. Authorities say the investigation is ongoing, though Naples residents are already placing bets on whether the final report will blame gravity, poor judgment, or a tragic shortage of doors.

Meanwhile, the injured passenger was rushed to the hospital, hopefully with a new perspective on vehicle safety—or at least a fresh appreciation for doors. Doctors report the patient’s condition as “stable but deeply regretting life choices.”

In related news, local dealerships are now considering a new upsell package for thrill-seekers: “The Jeep Gladiator Doorless Edition—comes with airbags, a GoPro mount, and one free ER copay.”

Stay tuned as the Sheriff’s Office decides whether to file charges or simply hand out participation trophies for Naples’ newest extreme sport: involuntary human ejection.