NAPLES, FL — In a bold move to preserve Florida’s title as the nation’s reigning champion of chaos, a Fort Myers woman reportedly introduced live gunfire to the Naples-area Waffle House experience — because nothing says “breakfast drama” like bullets with your bacon.

Authorities say the woman “accidentally” discharged her firearm during an argument, proving once again that in Florida, even brunch can escalate into a ballistics demonstration. Thankfully, no injuries were reported — likely due to the legendary resilience of Waffle House patrons, long believed to be immune to everything from hurricanes to hash brown-related fistfights.

Witnesses described the incident as “completely on brand” for the location. “Honestly, I just thought it was the cook slamming a skillet,” one customer said. “Or maybe someone ordering their eggs extra over easy.”

The suspect was arrested at the scene, and the weapon was confiscated. Authorities are still investigating what exactly triggered the early-morning gunplay, though unconfirmed theories include a dispute over the last plate of pecan waffles or a heated debate on whether grits should come with sugar or salt.

Restaurant management has not yet commented on whether the “Gunfire Special” will return or if this was simply a one-time promotional event. Regardless, regulars remain unfazed. As one local diner put it, “If there aren’t sirens or someone getting tackled into a jukebox, is it really Waffle House?”

In other words: just another day in Florida’s most reliable bastion of 24-hour unpredictability.