**🐔 Port St. Lucie’s Most Egg-citing Crime of the Week! 🍳**  

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. — In what can only be described as a **masterclass in poultry-based passion**, a 44-year-old man was arrested after allegedly turning a simple barroom debate about *how many eggs a chicken can lay* into a live-fire demonstration of poor decision-making.  

Meet **Peter Riera**, 44 — philosopher, marksman, and apparently, part-time chicken statistician. Police say that Riera and three newly acquainted drinking buddies at a local pub were engaged in a heated debate about egg productivity. Because naturally, after a few drinks, nothing says *“let’s discuss calmly”* like the reproductive capacity of poultry. 🐣  

But alas, words failed, and logic flew the coop. 🚨  

Riera reportedly escalated the conversation from “free-range debate” to “free-range gunfire,” firing *four* shots — all of which missed, as if the bullets themselves refused to participate in the stupidity.  

Authorities confirmed no one was hurt, though *dignity* certainly took a hit. Riera now faces multiple charges, including **aggravated assault with a deadly weapon** — and possibly with a bruised ego, after the universe reminded him he’s no Annie Oakley. 🎯  

Local residents remain baffled but not entirely surprised. After all, this is Florida, where one man’s “over easy” can quickly become “overreacting.”  

**Moral of the Story:**  

Next time someone asks how many eggs a chicken lays, just Google it. 📱  

It’s cheaper than bail and quieter than gunfire.  

**🥚🐓💥**  

Florida: Where even the egg debates go *sunny side up*.