What’s Wrong With You, Marco Island? A Toll? Seriously?

Marco Island politics never fails to both amaze and bewilder — sometimes making you wonder if everyone’s had one too many rum runners before the council meeting. The latest head-scratcher? Councilmember Tamara Goehler’s formal proposal (yes, a fully typed-up official document) to slap tolls on the S.S. Jolley Bridge and the Stan Gober Memorial Bridge.

The goal, in theory, is to avoid hiking property taxes. In reality? It’s like putting a price tag on coming and going from Marco Island — as if we’re some kind of theme park, but without any rides (unless you count council meetings as “performance art”).

Seriously, Marco Island, what’s the deal? Do you want tourists to pay $5 just to crawl through traffic on Collier Boulevard while their ice cream melts? Do you want local workers — you know, the ones keeping your margaritas flowing and golf courses pristine — to shell out daily tolls just so they can get grumbled at over parking spots?

And let’s not even get started on the optics. Property tax hikes may be dull, but at least they’re predictable and spread fairly across residents. A toll? That feels more like the city charging a cover fee to get into a club nobody asked to join.

Here’s the twist: the council already shot down the toll idea, 4–3. But Goehler’s bringing it back like that one friend who insists karaoke isn’t fun until they’ve belted “Sweet Caroline” for the third time.

So, Marco Island — if toll booths are your “brilliant” solution, maybe the real toll isn’t on the bridges… it’s on all of us.